It’s amazing what a good hard run can do for your self-esteem. It’s been a long time since I’ve gone for a run, and boy do I regret not getting back into the swing of things sooner. Of course, I think the main reason I ventured outside of my bubble of an apartment is because the sun was beckoning me outdoors, the beautiful sunshine I hadn’t seen in what felt like weeks. It came out twice this weekend, accompanied by a delicious warm feeling that makes running a breeze. Now my legs are rather sore, but it’s the kind of soreness that feels oh so good.
Last week I hit the pause button to reflect, to wait for a sign. I attended a mere ten hours of class and I mostly wallowed in my laziness. Motivation is something that must come from inside, and it’s been my driving force for the past six years or so. I am used to waiting, but not the kind of passive waiting that accompanies helplessness and lack of autonomy. I’m a doer, not a “let’s wait and see how things will turn out” kind of person. Living in France, living below my usual standard of living, has taught me a lot. To quote the old adage, every cloud has a silver lining. And today it was a shimmering brilliance of sunshine.
Another sunny spot on the horizon is the upcoming summer. I’ve been filling out applications to become an au pair, partly to have more experience working with kids (it’s been tough to find babysitting jobs in France with no network of parents already established) and also teaching English as a foreign language to children. My once a week gig is fun, but I’d love to have the opportunity to see dramatic improvement over a period of two months. I’ve just started applying, but who knows… Maybe I’ll be spending the summer in Italy, or on the French Riviera or in Alsace or Bavaria. Nothing like the summer holidays to keep you motivated.